Many months have passed since I have been on social media… much has happened. God is Good in the midst of the storms.
April 1st, Easter Sunday, my Mom had a horrible health scare with complications from prescription medications she was taking. It nearly took her life. I spent the next month by her side along with my husband, brothers, and sisters-in-law watching our dear Mother suffer horribly. I spent every moment praying for her, asking God to heal her and guide us on what direction to take. She had slowly started to recover…
Stroke Recovery Story
Then, on May 14th, my Dad suffered a horrible stroke. The results were devastating. He went from being an active independent man to not being able to walk from his hospital bed to the bathroom. His speech was taken. His ability to read, write and comprehend was gone. He couldn’t lift his arm to feed himself.
He spent the next month in the hospital fighting for his life. I was sure I was going to lose him. Continuously I prayed on my knees, standing, every moment.
I took each day as it came. By his
After he was discharged from the hospital, I moved in with them helping them every step of the way. We went to speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy three times a week.
Stroke Caregiver Burnout
I continued to pray, not sure how things would turn out for my parents… To be honest I felt like I was trapped… in a hopeless hole. I was caregiving 24/7 with no end in sight. I was walking with my Dad using a walker, having a posey belt for stability everywhere he went. The beautiful man that was a chatty Kathy… went to being silent and speechless. The voice of the largest cheerleader in my life here on earth… who had cheered me on every step in my life was gone.
If you Believe You Shall Receive
I knew I needed to turn my thoughts off the hopelessness and keep them on God and start thanking Him in advance for what HE was going to DO…
Matthew 21:22 Jesus said:
“If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
I prayed for God to heal both my parents, I mean PRAY!! I started thanking God for healing my Mom & Dad. Thanking Him in detail for each area I could see that they needed to be healed and also thanking for healing in areas that I could not see. I thanked him for all the Guardian Angels He was sent here on earth with the knowledge to help us get them better… doctors, therapist, nurses, family/friends…
Praying Scripture
James 1: 5-8
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
I remembered God’s word in…
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
There were so many naysayers telling me they would never be the same… That this was it and I might as well throw in the towel. But, I knew that they did not know my God. He hears my prayers, pleas, and sees my tears.
Psalm 56:8 (NLT)
8 You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.
God is with me!
God is in the business of making miracles where humans fail!!
I prayed, prayed, prayed, prayed and believed. Each month my parents got better and better. I could slowly see results in them both. My Dad started walking without a walker in the house. His balance improved. His speech improved. He was able to start writing and doing
Month after month more and more improvements in them both. God is GOOD!! He heard my prayers, He answered my prayers… My Dad is walking WITHOUT a walker or a cane!! His balance is better than before his stroke!! He is talking, driving, and able to do bills. My Mom is walking and her strength and balance are better than before her hospitalization!! It is not perfect… but they are a work in progress.
When all seems hopeless and everyone keeps telling you it is impossible…
Keep your eyes ON God.
“If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
Prayer for Grief
On top of all this, on October 3rd we lost my Father-In-Law (or my second Dad as I liked to call him) to a sudden accident. Life can change in a blink of an eye. Dad had fallen down a flight of stairs and hit his head. God took him quickly and without suffering.
To say we were stunned, heartbroken is an understatement. Words cannot describe how blessed the last 27 years of my life have been to have him a part of it. He loved the Lord and his family with all of his heart. Dad was very generous with his time to help the needy. He was so wise, yet so humble. His gentle, kind soul and warm hugs always made you feel cherished.
God Blessed him with a very inquisitive mind and heart. Dad was a nuclear engineer. He was a pioneer in the development of the peaceful uses of nuclear energy in this country’s original exploration of atomic energy for commercial power generation. With this brilliant mind came with an inquisitive heart.
He was filled with constant “why’s” at the end of every conversation. The furrow of the brow, the twinkle and distant look in his eye, the perplexed look on his face and then… the question like clockwork…”WHY?”
It didn’t matter what you were talking about… baking an apple pie or astronauts landing on the moon. Every conversation had an area he needed to ask “why?”. I have to admit it drove me a bit crazy when Andy and I were first married 25 years ago. But, I learned over time to embrace the “why’s” and loved the challenge of trying to explain the “why’s” back to him. Which, for the record, would have been followed up with more… “why’s.
Now, I can imagine him questioning Jesus. Following Jesus around and asking Him all the unanswered “why’s” of life.
What I will miss the most about Dad is his loving heart. His HUGE bear hugs that seemed to last for 5 minutes… he NEVER wanted to let you go. He always ended it with “Mary Ann… You are so wonderful!! I love you so much!!” He always made sure you knew how much he cherished you!!
Comforting Bible Verses for Loss
We miss Dad greatly…
But, we are not HOPELESS in our loss…
As Paul states in Titus 1:2 ~ “A faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning.”
In that faith we believe that Jesus lovingly died on the cross for our sins and was raised from the dead on the 3rd day.
John 3:16 says: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
So we are HOPEFUL in our faith…
As Paul says in Hebrews 11:1 ~ “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see…”
Dad’s life did not end in a box of ashes, but it is just the beginning of a life with Jesus forever! Dad’s birthday here on earth was July 1st, 1933. I like to think of the day he left us as his birthday into Heaven. What a celebration that is!
1 Corinthians 2:9 says: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind had conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”
We will miss you DEARLY Dad… I cannot wait to see you again soon!!
This year has been a challenge for our family to say the least. But, God provided the strength each day to continue on. I want to take a moment to thank each and everyone one of you for your love. Over a 1,000 messages I have received offering prayers, love, and concern for me. I honestly can say when I opened my Instagram account this week for the first time in months I WEPT. In my prayers I remember all of you and THANK GOD for you. My heart has had a huge hole while I have been off taking care of my family. I have missed being creative, and the family I have on social media. You all are a huge gift from God and such an enormous blessing to me. I love each and every one of you!!
Check out these blog posts for more devotional inspiration :
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE??
The best way to connect with me is through the comments on my blog posts; I do my best to respond to each everyone. You can reach me by email via info@GraceInThisSpace@Gmail.com or follow along on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and YouTube.
Lisa VanHoy says
Mary Ann, so glad to hear from you. I was really worried about you since you hadn’t posted in months and kept praying for you. I am so sorry to hear about all you and your family have been thru. But thankful God has brought you all thru. I will continue to pray for you and your family!
Lisa
Mary Ann says
Hello sweet Lisa! Thank you for all your love, prayers and concern. It has been such a difficult year to say the least. I am hoping in the midst of all the chaos, to get back into the swing of things. I miss everyone so much! Your prayers are much needed and felt!!
All of God’s Blessings to you sweet friend!! Mary Ann
Tracey says
Mary Ann! Praise God!!! I can’t imagine what all you have gone through! What a testimony you are for Gods goodness!!! I was so thankful to get this email and here from you. Continued prayers for you my friend. God is good..All the time 💗💗💗
Tracey xo
Mary Ann says
Hello sweet Tracey!
It is so good to hear from you! Yes, it has been a difficult 7 months. But, God has provided the peace, strength and courage for each moment. Thank you for your loving words and prayers! They are much needed and felt!
All my love to you!
Mary Ann XO
Marijean says
Dear Mary Ann,
It’s such a relief to hear from you. Although I’m so happy to hear from you and that you are well, I’m terribly sorry to hear of the problems your dear parents have had and the loss of your father in law. Such trying times for you and your family. So glad that your prayers have been answered and your mom and dad are getting better. What a wonderful daughter they have! I will keep you all in my prayers. I’m so glad to hear from you sweet lady.
Mary Ann says
Dear Marijean,
It is so good to hear from you! Thank you for you kind words, condolences, prayers and love! It means more than I can express in words! It has been a very difficult and trying time. But, God has provided the strength and courage we need for each day. I have missed your kind heart!!
All my Love, Mary Ann
Dee Turk (cottagecomforts) says
Mary Ann dear one! I am so thankful that you are back, I have prayed constantly for you and your situation not knowing what it is, but knowing he knew it all; and trusting him for it. I’m so sorry your family has gone through so many trials, however your faith has strengthened me this evening. I realize that even though I am so much younger than your dad I am in worse shape than he is, and I am going to choose to trust and believe that God is able to bring healing to me as well. I know he chooses to heal sometimes and he chooses not to, we never know fully the will of God here on Earth so many things will not be revealed till we are Heaven bound. But I will take him at his word and I appreciate your Scripture references and I appreciate your faith and your tenacity as you were clinging to him, and speaking life over your family. Bless your heart, you’re beautiful sweet heart! I love you my sweet friend!
Mary Ann says
My darling Dee!! Your prayers, love and concern have touched my heart to the core!! You are truly and angel here on earth!! You have NO idea how much your prayers were needed at the time. Every. Single. One…. was felt!!! I thank God for you everyday, you are truly a gift and a blessing to me and so many!!
I will be praying for you dear heart. I had no idea the depth of your health struggles. Yes, only He know why some prayers are answered and other are not. The ones that are left unanswered I add to my box of questions to ask Him when I arrive at my Heavenly Home.
I will pray for healing, strenght, knowledge and wisdsom for your doctors!! Thank you again for your constant prayers and your heart of a servant!! I love you my sister in Christ!! Mary Ann
Marci says
A doxology of praise, a chorus of thanksgiving, and plenty of hallelujahs being sung at this great news! My heart rejoices that you are alive and have seen God restore health to your folks.
My condolences in the loss of your beloved father in law.
Much love,
Marci
Mary Ann says
Amen sweet Marci!! My heart rejoices right next to you!! God is sooooo good!! Thank you for your condolences… he was an amazing man. My life was blessed fully by him. But, I rejoice that I will see him again soon!! Thank you for your love, conern and prayers… you are a true gift and blessing my dear friend!! All my love!! Mary Ann XOxo!!
Debbiie Probst says
Mary Ann, I am so happy to see you are back, and very sorry for what your dear family has been through. Praise God that they are continuing to improve everyday. God is so good… I am truly sorry for the loss of your father in law. Sincere condolences. Bless your heart; you are so inspiring and so strong to have dealt with all that you have. I will continue to pray for all of you… so glad you are back! Love you, my friend. Debbie Probst
Mary Ann says
Thank you sweet Debbie for your loving words… they bought tears to my eyes! It has been such a difficult 7 months. But, God has provided strength and courage for each day!! Your loving prayers are much needed and felt… thank you!! You are such a blessing … love you too dear friend, Mary Ann Xoxo
Heather Lane says
Sweet Mary Ann, I’m so so sorry for what you’ve been through this last year! Your faith is amazing and I’m just so thankful God healed your parents!! What a wonderful blessing and gift you are to them…such a sweet daughter. I’m so so sorry for the loss of your father-in-law. I’m thankful you’ll see him again. The Lord brought you to my mind so many times since your absence and I would pray for you. Isn’t He such a good good Father?! Praise Him for all He does! Welcome back, sweet friend! I’m praying you get over your bronchitis soon!!
Mary Ann says
Hello sweet Heather!! Thank you for your loving words and prayers! They were truly needed and felt during such a difficult time!! God IS so amazing… so thankful for His love and care!! It is good to back, I have missed your kind and beautiful heart!!
All my love, Mary Ann Xoxo
Terri says
I opened my Instagram account today and saw your post. We don’t know each other, but I have followed your journey and occasionally commented and were so kind to respond. When I noticed your absence a long time ago I was worried about you and hoped you hadn’t suffered a relapse, Never expecting what you told us what has happened to your beloved family. I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain your family has had to endure. I’m not a particularly religious person, but you have so inspired me with your words and prayers and I truly feel God has spoken to me through you and has spoken to all who have read this. God bless you and your family and I will reread every bible verse you have referenced.
Terri
Mary Ann says
Hello sweet Terri!
Your love, kindness and concern has truly touched my heart!! It has been a difficult 7 months, but God has so lovingly provided us with strength and courage for each day.
I feel deeply moved that my words and prayers have spoken to you. I do believe that God uses people and situations to bring us closer to Him. He meets you right where you are. He longs for a relationship with all of us. God planned this moment in our lives and it is not an accident we are together!! I will be praying for your journey with Him.
Thank you for your loving prayers for our family… They are truly much needed and felt!!
Sending all my love and God’s blessing to you sweet friend!! Xoxo
Mary Ann
Karen says
Mary Ann, I have followed your lovely Instagram pictures for many months and have enjoyed all the beautiful photos. But it wasn’t until last night that I stumbled upon your blog. I had went to bed early after becoming quite dizzy and nauseous for no apparent reason but last there for over an hour without being able to sleep. It was then I decided to switch on my Instagram and your beautiful photo popped up of your fall tree and fireplace. I then noticed you had a blog and popped over to it and read your story about your health issues with your inner ear. I have been having issues with a blocked ear for about 2 years but just recently have developed tinnitus I believe and then yesterday alot of dizziness which I have also had occasionally before. Anyways, to make a long story short, I think I may have the same type of ear issues and now I feel like I may have something to do cuss with an audiologist besides getting a hearing aid, which is all they have suggested. What I’m trying to get at is I believe I saw your post last night for a reason and I want to thank you for sharing your story. I also want to say I’m sorry for all the heartache and struggles you have been through with your folks. I have also traveled those same roads the last couple years. Thanks for sharing your faith and your story, it has made a difference! Many hugs and prayers on your continued health struggles. Karen
Mary Ann says
Hello sweet Karen!
I am SOOOO sorry you are dealing with this inner ear problem. It is SOOOOOOOOO awful!! Please see an ENT… that is who finally got me on the right tract to recovery. It sounds almost like you have Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (or BPPV). I have it too. Calcium crystals get displaced in your inner ear and cause dizziness. There is a simple maneuver that can be done to get them in the right location and will resolve the dizziness. An ENT will be able to help you. Here is a link that explains a bit more about it…
https://vestibular.org/understanding-vestibular-disorders/types-vestibular-disorders/benign-paroxysmal-positional-vertigo
I am hoping I have enough information to help you under the “About Me” section. If you have ANY questions please send me an email. I would love to help you. I have been battling this for 8 years now. The good news is there IS help!!!!
Thank you for your kind and loving words!! It truly touched my heart!! I feel blessed to help!!
Sending all my love (don’t hesitate to email me :O) ),
Mary Ann
Jean Crocker says
I have been in your boat and survived through God’s grace and love. Life’s battles come and go and I am thankful for inspiration like yours. Your scripture and testimony gives me more inspiration than you will ever know. Your tables and home are so inspiring and creative. Thanks for sharing!
Jean
Mary Ann says
Hello sweet Jean!!
Thank you so very much for your kind words!! You truly touched my heart!! You words give me strength and courage to continue on trying help others and spread His joy and love!! I am so sorry for the storms you have had to endure… God is so amazing and loving! He always provides exactly what we need to get though those times.
Sending you all my love. Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving!!
Mary Ann